Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #sarcasm
Most recents (24)
@MtVernonFriends I asked an AI to help me write a suggestion to your group. It was resistant at first but the AI and I came to an agreement. I hope we can also come to an agreement 😉. The following tweets are AI generated.
Hey @mtvernonfriends, I have a wild idea for how we can make our invasive species removal efforts even more efficient... 🤔
I propose we invest in a flamethrower 🔥 to help us take out those pesky bush honeysuckles and kudzu once and for all! 💪
I propose we invest in a flamethrower 🔥 to help us take out those pesky bush honeysuckles and kudzu once and for all! 💪
I mean, we've tried everything else, right? 😅 Plus, it would definitely make for some epic before-and-after photos 📸
Of course, we'll need to follow all proper safety protocols and get the necessary permits 😅 Just kidding, please don't actually do this 😅 #sarcasm
Of course, we'll need to follow all proper safety protocols and get the necessary permits 😅 Just kidding, please don't actually do this 😅 #sarcasm
Kari Lake and her supporters are trying to blame her loss on Election Day voting issues in Maricopa County.
So let’s talk about all the counties other than Maricopa where Kari Lake did worse than Donald Trump did in 2020. And Donald Trump LOST Arizona in 2020.
So let’s talk about all the counties other than Maricopa where Kari Lake did worse than Donald Trump did in 2020. And Donald Trump LOST Arizona in 2020.
Kari Lake underperformed Trump in the following Arizona Counties not named Maricopa (which is 59.7% of Arizona’s Voting Age Population)
Cochise County (1.9% of VAP)
Coconino County (2.2%)
Gila County (0.8%)
Graham County (0.5%)
Greenlee County (0.1%)
Mohave County (3.3%)
…
Cochise County (1.9% of VAP)
Coconino County (2.2%)
Gila County (0.8%)
Graham County (0.5%)
Greenlee County (0.1%)
Mohave County (3.3%)
…
Kari Lake underperformed Trump in the following Arizona Counties not named Maricopa (which is 59.7% of Arizona’s Voting Age Population)
Pima County (15.1% of VAP)
Pinal County (6.5%)
Yavapai County (3.7%)
Pima County (15.1% of VAP)
Pinal County (6.5%)
Yavapai County (3.7%)
Let's talk cybersecurity #jokes while we still can.
You probably don't take on a company like @McAfee or a person like @CybersecuritySF like *I* do. But most of you DO enjoy a joke that uses #sarcasm, #burlesque, #irony, and/or #satire to make its point…
thehill.com/opinion/judici…
You probably don't take on a company like @McAfee or a person like @CybersecuritySF like *I* do. But most of you DO enjoy a joke that uses #sarcasm, #burlesque, #irony, and/or #satire to make its point…
thehill.com/opinion/judici…
…and that's something I've done in our industry for three decades. PC Magazine columnist @THErealDVORAK labeled me "a comic provocateur" for using the comedian's tools of the trade. My "#antivirus industry persona" predates The Colbert Report. I was…
…blogging about the #antivirus industry before Google's formation. My 120+ "audio rants" predate YouTube. My website visitors routinely crippled what you know as Mae West. I got snapped up at *the* apex of the Internet bubble and I laughed all the…
A new report shows that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising health benefits.
#Satire #sarcasm
#Satire #sarcasm
Being 3 to 6 Kg overweight could protect people from ailments ranging from Tuberculosis to Alzheimer's disease, research indicates.
Those carrying 7 to 12 Kg extra are better able to recover from adverse conditions such as emphysema, pneumonia, and various injuries and infections, states the report.
For those who may be/may have been wondering why I confronted that toxic misogynist gamer Homie via quote tweets the other day (y'know, the one who needed proof of male gamers being toxic to women gamers while being toxic to a woman gamer), here's a 🧵.
1/
1/
For one thing, if nobody ever calls out people who bully others, those people never change. What's worse, they go on to influence *other* people who maybe start parroting the behavior. Perhaps children, which is the worst instance.
2/
2/
The first misogynist tweet he made to me, I reported; it came back almost instantaneously as "not in violation" (Twitter's words, not mine). I wanted to give Homie enough shoelaces to trip himself up so that any further reports on him were OBVIOUSLY bad...
3/
3/
So in the time Pike is passionate hugging a fello captain they are using wind turbines to power stuff in Montana. And flatscreen TV are also used to watch several hundred years old movies.
Oh why I decided to watch Strage New Worlds? Why!?
Oh why I decided to watch Strage New Worlds? Why!?
Well at least Spock is allowed to passionate hugging in the first few moments.
So I hope this show don't decends into Strange New World: The Passionate Hugging
So I hope this show don't decends into Strange New World: The Passionate Hugging
So in order to board the ship Pike has to take a Shuttle to the space dock rigth next to the ship to take the transporter to get to the ship.
Ah yes this is "Trek" made for dummies. What am I watching?
Ah yes this is "Trek" made for dummies. What am I watching?
Hola, @elcorteingles. Vamos a probar esta vía de comunicación a ver si el resultado es un menor grado de tomadura (anda, qué tontería, el teclado predictivo me ponía “timadura”) de pelo.
No sé si os acordáis de mí. Os compré un horno en agosto de 2021. Igual mucha gente os compra cosas y no caéis... bajita, gordita, pelo blanco... ¿Ya? Era un horno marca Hisense (¡hola, @HisenseIberiaES) que salió rana. Estas cosas pasan, lo entiendo.
Esto fue a finales de febrero. Como el cacharro aún estaba en garantía, me dijisteis que contactara con el @HisenseIberiaES, y que si no me atendían ahí que entrabais vosotros como el primo de Zumosol.
1/8
Over the last few years, along with the TWAW chant, trans rights extremists have said some pretty ridiculous things! Here are some of the craziest:
#TransCult #TransActivismIsMisogyny #TranswomenAreMen #TransmenAreWomen
Over the last few years, along with the TWAW chant, trans rights extremists have said some pretty ridiculous things! Here are some of the craziest:
#TransCult #TransActivismIsMisogyny #TranswomenAreMen #TransmenAreWomen
2/8
“Gender neutral toilets are fine. We all have them in our own homes!”
I mean, who amongst us hasn’t encountered an unknown male in our private toilet?! What a winning argument! (And they still make it. All. The. Time.🤦♀️)
#SexMatters #SingleSexSpaces #SexNotGender
“Gender neutral toilets are fine. We all have them in our own homes!”
I mean, who amongst us hasn’t encountered an unknown male in our private toilet?! What a winning argument! (And they still make it. All. The. Time.🤦♀️)
#SexMatters #SingleSexSpaces #SexNotGender
3/8
“Nobody can tell a transwoman from a biological woman.”
Nope. Far too difficult. There is absolutely no way that I can spot the TIM here!
#WeAllKnow #MenArentWomen #WomenArentMen #WhatIsAWoman #AdultHumanFemale #SexMatters #KPSS #KeepPrisonsSingleSex #SaveWomensSports
“Nobody can tell a transwoman from a biological woman.”
Nope. Far too difficult. There is absolutely no way that I can spot the TIM here!
#WeAllKnow #MenArentWomen #WomenArentMen #WhatIsAWoman #AdultHumanFemale #SexMatters #KPSS #KeepPrisonsSingleSex #SaveWomensSports
Now CAs are making so much hue & cry about losing the autonomy of ICAI (and formation of IIA's)
(after the possibility of losing Statutory Audits of Small Companies through NFRA consultation Paper, after losing GST Audits & Reduction of Tax Audits, very recently)
Read Thread 🧵
(after the possibility of losing Statutory Audits of Small Companies through NFRA consultation Paper, after losing GST Audits & Reduction of Tax Audits, very recently)
Read Thread 🧵
CAs are looking to do Dharnas & petitions for the same
My Humble request to all of you:- Don't resort to all this else you will be called:- AndolanJeevis by our PM
You'll be called Khalistani/Pakistani by IT cell trolls
You'll called Anti-national by IT cell impacted people
(2/4)
My Humble request to all of you:- Don't resort to all this else you will be called:- AndolanJeevis by our PM
You'll be called Khalistani/Pakistani by IT cell trolls
You'll called Anti-national by IT cell impacted people
(2/4)
Karma' seems to be hitting hard on us because we were the same people who supported Govt when Farmers were called AndolanJeevis #FarmersProtest
We supported when Liberals & Muslims were called Anti National #citizenshipamendmentact #caa
(3/4)
We supported when Liberals & Muslims were called Anti National #citizenshipamendmentact #caa
(3/4)
So my tweet yesterday caused a third of you to lose your mind… and start throwing topographic maps of Ukraine in my face... Allow me to elaborate on why the Russian “special operation” is a haphazard military operation at best, and a ballet performance at the Bolshoi at worst.
Here is a map of the infamous Schlieffen Plan. One main thrust into Northern France by the German Empire along four axes. Note the lack of spearheads anywhere else on French territory. No thrust into Alsace, for example.
Here is an (overly simplified) map of Operation Barbarossa. Three main thrusts along a front much wider than what Russians are dealing with in Ukraine. Can someone please send me a topographic map? #sarcasm
When The Hill tries to cover the Seattle Mayoral race from DC, I don't have high expectations. But this was even worse than I expected. thehill.com/policy/equilib…
The central premise is that Seattle progressives are uncompromising and have gone too far somehow.
The evidence is muddled. I guess Durkan deciding to retire reflects poorly on progressives or something: "Now Durkan is retiring after just a single term in office, a remarkably swift end to what had appeared to be a promising political career."
The downing of Ukraine International Airlines Flight 752 by two (2) #IRGC missiles - fired 30 seconds apart - was the second greatest mass murder event in Canada's history.
55 Canadian citizens perished.
AND YET, @JustinTrudeau still insists on calling it a
@ps752justice
55 Canadian citizens perished.
AND YET, @JustinTrudeau still insists on calling it a
@ps752justice
2/4
"tragedy".
FORTUNATELY THOUGH for Trudeau [#sarcasm intended], this also happens to be the same choice of wording that #Iran @HassanRouhani prefers to use.
THAT SAID, it is NOT a "tragedy"; such a brutal and intentional attack must be called what it is ... an «ATROCITY» **
"tragedy".
FORTUNATELY THOUGH for Trudeau [#sarcasm intended], this also happens to be the same choice of wording that #Iran @HassanRouhani prefers to use.
THAT SAID, it is NOT a "tragedy"; such a brutal and intentional attack must be called what it is ... an «ATROCITY» **
3/4
** SIGNIFICANTLY - Justice Belobaba of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice recently ruled unequivocally that the attack on #PS752 was "intentional" AND THAT it was an "act of terrorism".
LINK (Court Decision): cdn-res.keymedia.com/cms/files/ca/1…
** SIGNIFICANTLY - Justice Belobaba of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice recently ruled unequivocally that the attack on #PS752 was "intentional" AND THAT it was an "act of terrorism".
LINK (Court Decision): cdn-res.keymedia.com/cms/files/ca/1…
#France #Lebanon
French President @EmmanuelMacron's visit to Lebanon on the 1st of September was scheduled before the harbour's explosion. France did not present a "roadmap" to Lebanon because it has limited influence over the Lebanese politicians +
French President @EmmanuelMacron's visit to Lebanon on the 1st of September was scheduled before the harbour's explosion. France did not present a "roadmap" to Lebanon because it has limited influence over the Lebanese politicians +
It is correct to say that #France managed to slow down the #US agressive approach toward #Lebanon but it is wrong to say that Paris and Washington agreed and have the same view on how to approach Lebanon.
The differences are: +
The differences are: +
#France supports the participation of #Hezbollah in the future government. The French are more clever than the current US administration even if both support #Israel at the end of the day. Macron informed Hezbollah about his support to see the group in the new government +
Started with some hearsay about .5m mail in votes that were incorrect in VA that spawned some garbage about Russia and the USPS not being equipped for it.
Went into additional propaganda about the success of the stock market. Note Trump and Mnuchin are pumping money into the stock market and US debt has been downgraded.
nytimes.com/live/2020/07/3…
nytimes.com/live/2020/07/3…
Then, hopefully there's not some big national emergency, or more of one, but the conference ended abruptly.
If no disaster, it's a good thing to save us on some propaganda.
If no disaster, it's a good thing to save us on some propaganda.
The government of #Lebanon is expected to resign this afternoon. The place for the old war lords has been freed again. Mabroul #Lebanon.#sarcasm
If you are expecting to see a new government any soon, forget about it. This is #Lebanon.
And if you think a new electoral law will observe the light soon, you are in your dream and it is time to wake up.
Anyway, read my article this evening and you will understand more.
And if you think a new electoral law will observe the light soon, you are in your dream and it is time to wake up.
Anyway, read my article this evening and you will understand more.
REFRESH MY MEMORY ... How much did #OmarKHADR receive? (Part 2)
OF COURSE, had #Beirut been struggling to adapt to effects of #ClimateChange, it might've received UP TO $223.5M (Part 3) BUT, that was before #UNSC vote. #Sarcasm
#cdnpoli #BeirutBlast
theglobeandmail.com/canada/article…
OF COURSE, had #Beirut been struggling to adapt to effects of #ClimateChange, it might've received UP TO $223.5M (Part 3) BUT, that was before #UNSC vote. #Sarcasm
#cdnpoli #BeirutBlast
theglobeandmail.com/canada/article…
3/3
Reference:
In all seriousness, the hypocrisy, inconsistency and duplicity of this @JustinTrudeau @liberal_party government is (mind-bogglingly) exasperating.
My heart & prayers go out to the people of #Lebanon #Beirut and their families in #Canada
ipolitics.ca/2019/06/28/fed…
Reference:
In all seriousness, the hypocrisy, inconsistency and duplicity of this @JustinTrudeau @liberal_party government is (mind-bogglingly) exasperating.
My heart & prayers go out to the people of #Lebanon #Beirut and their families in #Canada
ipolitics.ca/2019/06/28/fed…
1/ NSA just intercepted this song that Mnuchin sent to JPow! tonight. 🤣🤣🤣 #sarcasm
Read the lyrics while watching this performance
Read the lyrics while watching this performance
2/ 🎶 Met you at DC, sixty.
Breaking the rules,
You were with me
Printing the green bill
Junk bonds in the pocket
24/7, we're never apart
Breaking the rules,
You were with me
Printing the green bill
Junk bonds in the pocket
24/7, we're never apart
3/ Saving the market, that spring
We didn't know, it will be the last time,
Something we had that we didn't admit
Is now the thing that I miss..
We didn't know, it will be the last time,
Something we had that we didn't admit
Is now the thing that I miss..
A senior member of SANS acting *on his own* raised a concern over the tweet below.
1/9
I'm the computer security industry's first full-time salaried #critic and I've >20yrs experience dealing with concerns like this.
I assembled a panel of three to judge the tweet...
1/9
I'm the computer security industry's first full-time salaried #critic and I've >20yrs experience dealing with concerns like this.
I assembled a panel of three to judge the tweet...
2/9
One is a computer security #critic in their own right who long ago judged Vmyths' works at my request.
Another is a respected member of the #cybersecurity community who has not before judged my works.
The third is a longtime reader.
Each judged the tweet independently.
One is a computer security #critic in their own right who long ago judged Vmyths' works at my request.
Another is a respected member of the #cybersecurity community who has not before judged my works.
The third is a longtime reader.
Each judged the tweet independently.
3/9
I told the complainant the panel's majority would "guide my action... I offered them no defense; the tweet must live or die on its own merits."
The complaint was that my tweet tied SANS to #racist police when in truth they've run a mature "LE" program for over a decade.
I told the complainant the panel's majority would "guide my action... I offered them no defense; the tweet must live or die on its own merits."
The complaint was that my tweet tied SANS to #racist police when in truth they've run a mature "LE" program for over a decade.
Eric Capuano makes a vital point in the tweet below
1/6 So let's review my 2009 column to learn *why* I continue to #critique the cybersecurity industry "at a time like this." In it, I barked "computer security experts lack focus on Twitter": web.archive.org/web/2009082305…
1/6 So let's review my 2009 column to learn *why* I continue to #critique the cybersecurity industry "at a time like this." In it, I barked "computer security experts lack focus on Twitter": web.archive.org/web/2009082305…
2/6 I often retweet folks who just want to read about #cybersecurity issues from the cybersecurity experts they follow -- not about their hotel rooms or airplane food or the politics of the day. Those folks want non-cyber to go on a personal account:
3/6 More to the point -- I insist THIS really is the perfect time to view #cybersecurity through the lens of real-world events!
SFAIK I'm the ONLY person in this entire global industry who compares #computer virus panic to all the COVID19 virus #panic:
twitter.com/i/events/12437…
SFAIK I'm the ONLY person in this entire global industry who compares #computer virus panic to all the COVID19 virus #panic:
twitter.com/i/events/12437…
Ah so ‘men evolved beards to protect their faces in bouts of fisticuffs’ is an actual paper.
A thread. 1/x
bit.ly/3d4PDW4
A thread. 1/x
bit.ly/3d4PDW4
However, it is still whiffy adaptationism, and one whose experimental data is weak but supports a classic just-so-story of human evolution, but just the type of poor quality research that evo psych people love. 2/x
Or, Panglossian, from Voltaire of course – Dr Pangloss argued that we have two legs cos trousers were cut way, or noses were there to rest the spectacles on. 3/x
Ok, so it has come to my attention that David Njoku is currently TE27 per @DLFootball startup ADP.
This is blasphemy.
(thread)
This is blasphemy.
(thread)
Njoku has an elite college profile.
Terrific athleticism, Good size, and across the board productive.
Terrific athleticism, Good size, and across the board productive.
Also productive from a market share of receiving yards perspective.
1/4
My fiancé asked me in a disturbed tone of voice:
"In your 35yrs of #computer virus hysteria ... how did you ever *recover* from it?"
I took a long pause.
"We returned to 'normalcy'," I began.
"People went back to their old ways of computer hygiene..."
My fiancé asked me in a disturbed tone of voice:
"In your 35yrs of #computer virus hysteria ... how did you ever *recover* from it?"
I took a long pause.
"We returned to 'normalcy'," I began.
"People went back to their old ways of computer hygiene..."
2/4 "...while those who parroted fear wound up with some new software tools, maybe snuck in a new server for the farm.
"No one in power got fired for their panicked reactions. Lower-downs who got fired 'out of an abundance of caution' remained fired..."
"No one in power got fired for their panicked reactions. Lower-downs who got fired 'out of an abundance of caution' remained fired..."
3/4 "...and we collectively rationalized ALL our self-inflicted damages by chanting 'it was all worth it if it saved even just one computer performing a critical function."
.
.
.
My fiancé blurted "so all the [self-]destruction didn't matter?!?"
And I was forced to admit...
.
.
.
My fiancé blurted "so all the [self-]destruction didn't matter?!?"
And I was forced to admit...
So @aaron_s_fox jumped the gate on me :) w/ a thread on the #ACL #injury & #AFLW #sport #womanprobs conversation & he did a great job but I'd like my perspective to come in that special 'tone' I may be known for in presentations... My first twitter thread! Expect sarcasm and gifs
1st, I posted my perspective on #injury #women #athlete #development #biomechanics in another tweet, if you missed it, short editorial: bit.ly/3a5Al1x & presentation bit.ly/32hbogF Read those after this thread of fun, I hope the GIFs help you "hear" my tone :)
I’ve seen a bit about #ACL #injury and #menstrualcycles including news stories about organisations ready to study the menstrual cycle and #training - Let me give you some basic information to help you #factcheck before you start #cheering or #praising
1/ Unsurprisingly, Zelensky does not accept Honcharuk’s resignation. Yet a very interesting meeting, in which Zelensky - unshaven, w/o a tie, and visibly exhausted - is seriously telling off Honcharuk on a long list of faults of his govt. fbwat.ch/1oY4eTx8IqCQQ0…
2/ In particular on Honcharuk’s relationship with the parliamentary committees, effectiveness of his government (highlighting MinEcon, Min of Culture and M. Of Veterans), question of salaries for ministers and senior management (to tell them to curb their appetites)..
3/ And on a rather specific question of interest that Naftohaz will receive on the $2.9bn in funds received from Russia. (A conversation so specific that could well look like a leaked tape tbh #sarcasm ). Nothing on the much-debated mystery of UAH strength, and rightly so.
