Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #VladimirTheTable

Most recents (3)

My fellow Russians

My quick & easy 3 day war into Ukraine is running slightly behind schedule. 360 days behind schedule to be precise. We lost the battle of Kyiv, their capital & largest city. As you can see my war started out tremendously well.. for the Ukrainians
#SlavaUkraini Image
After we lost the battle of Kyiv, we proceeded to lose the battle of Kharkiv too. Kharkiv is their second largest city. After a prolonged battle we lost at Snake Island. Then we lost the battle for Izyum, a town we had seized. As you can tell my war is progressing remarkably well Image
When our army fled Izyum, they left all our heavy weapons there for the Ukrainians to use against us in this war. This is part of my glorious plan. We did the same in our loss at Snake Island. We abandoned all our valuable military gear there too. We've gifted Ukraine 600 tanks! Image
Read 17 tweets
My fellow Russians

My quick & easy three day war into Ukraine has now run into its 9th month. We lost the battle of Kyiv, their capital & largest city. As you can see, my war started out tremendously well.. for the Ukrainians

#SlavaUkraini #TableBoy #CzarLilliPutin #LilliPutin Image
After we lost the battle of Kyiv, we proceeded to lose the battle of Kharkiv too. Kharkiv is their second largest city. After a prolonged battle we lost at Snake Island. Then we lost the battle for Izyum, a town we had seized. As you can tell, this war was going remarkably well Image
We have been eagerly retreating so much since March, that half of the terrain we once held in Ukraine has already been handed back to the Ukrainians. In the words of my pet & sex toy, Donald Trump, I call this unconventional type of military maneouvering: 'winning' Image
Read 17 tweets
Earlier today Twitter celebrated Republican Reinstated Smells. A hashtag game #TerribleCandleScents got your faitful T Dawg to dig into the ole candle drawer and take a few whiffs. Then you all voted by liking my silliest jokes. So let's revisit the 12 worst smelling candles Image
Read 15 tweets

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